people pleaser

A People-Pleaser’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Life: 6 Ways to Say No

“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown
Have you ever found yourself stuck in the “yes” trap, even when your gut screamed “no”?
I have.
We people-pleasers struggle with boundary crushers, and there are a lot of them out there continuously knocking over the barriers we put up!
But here is a secret I have learned: I’m allowed to say “no” without drowning in guilt. In fact, it’s a vital part of my self-care journey to give myself permission to freely say “no.”
Empowerment of “NO”
Saying “no” … …

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How Boundaries Help You Stay True to Yourself (And Two Practices to Try Today)

“The more you value yourself, the healthier your boundaries are.” ~Lorraine Nilon
I want to talk about the direct correlation between boundaries and self-love. Because when we truly love ourselves and have a healthy self-worth and self-concept, setting boundaries becomes …
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How to Love Mindfully When You’re a Socially Anxious People-Pleaser

“It’s okay to care about what people think. Just know there’s a difference between valuing someone’s opinion and needing their approval.” ~Lori Deschene
My date—an attractive student in her twenties—talked away excitedly, but all I could think of was this:…
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How Not Setting Boundaries Serves Our Primal Need for Acceptance

“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated.” ~Brené Brown
I used to believe that others didn’t have healthy boundaries. They didn’t know where to draw the line, and I was the …
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The Exhausted Extrovert: How I Stopped Worrying About How People See Me

“When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we are not pretending, we are not hiding—we are simply present with whatever is going on inside us. Ironically, it is this very feeling of authenticity that draws people to us, not the …
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People-Pleasers Are Liars: 3 Things We Gain When We’re Honest Instead

“You’re a liar. People-pleasers are liars,” a friend said to me. I felt like I was punched in the gut. “You say yes when you mean no. You say it’s okay when it’s not okay.” My friend challenged me, “In …
The post People-Pleasers Are Liars: 3 Things We Gain When We’re Honest Instead appeared first on Tiny Buddha. …

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3 Painful Consequences to Overgiving and People-Pleasing

People-pleasing, overhelping, overgiving—we can give it lots of different names, but the consequences to putting yourself last all the time are generally the same.
You may have been raised to see giving and helping as virtuous things. And hear me …
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3 Things I Realized When I Stopped People-Pleasing and Let Myself Receive

“Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart.” ~Brene Brown
The honest truth about needing to please is that we do it to make other people happy. We will sacrifice everything …
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How I’ve Stopped Attracting One-Sided Relationships That Leave Me Feeling Empty

“Curiosity will save your soul.” ~Danielle LaPorte
When I was a young girl about age five, my mother volunteered weekly at a nursing home. Because she was a stay-at-home mom, I was required to tag along with her.
While she …
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3 Reasons Why It’s Hard to Set Boundaries and What to Do About It

“Care what other people think, and you will forever be their prisoner.” ~Lao Tzu
I love this quote because it is such truth. But I also recognize the difficulty and the uncomfortable feelings that arise when working toward living this …
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How I Stopped Worrying All the Time and Started Feeling Good About Life

“We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.” ~Anais Nin
When I was young, I used to stare out into the big, blue sky and ask, “Is this really the right place?” “Did they drop …
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5 Tips to Stop Comparing Yourself to Other People

“No matter what you do, someone won’t be pleased. Someone will think your choices are wrong. And someone will tell you what you should do instead. No matter which path you take, someone will seem to be doing better. Someone …
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When It’s Time to Stop Helping Others and Help Ourselves

“Do your best and be okay with that.” ~Ursula Wharton
Late one evening I was doing some work at the last minute when my phone buzzed with a text from Alex, my neighbor’s partner. They said they were rushing over …
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3 Questions Every People-Pleaser Should Ask Before Making a Decision

“The one thing you learn is when you can step out of your comfort zone and be uncomfortable, you see what you’re made of and who you are.” ~Sue Bird
I am a recovering people-pleaser.
I grew up in a …
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How Beating Cancer Helped Me Stop Being a People-Pleaser

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.” ~Pema Chadron
The hardest part of hearing the words, “I’m sorry, but you have cancer” at the age of thirty was knowing I had to tell …
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Why Rest is the Ultimate Protective Gear in a Busy, Chaotic World

“The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.” ~Sydney J. Harris
No matter what airline you fly, there are safety instructions at the start of every flight that the flight crew goes over with everyone on …
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Afraid of What People Think? Free Yourself by Realizing How Unimportant You Are

“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
It’s natural to think that we’re always in the spotlight.
We think that people care about the way we dress, …
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How to Let Go of the Need for Approval: What to Do and Not to Do

“Confidence isn’t ‘they will like me.’ Confidence is ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t’.” ~Christina Grimmie
No one likes rejection. Some people have gotten comfortable with it, perhaps have even reframed it as something positive, but most of us prefer …
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If You Think People-Pleasing Is Being Kind…

“I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better.” ~Plutarch
People-pleasing can seem Iike a way of connecting with others. We believe that if we keep people …
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9 Powerful Lessons from People-Pleasers Around the World

A woman struggles to tell her boss that no, she won’t work overtime for the third day this week.
A man feels resentful in his relationship because he always gives, and his partner always takes.
A woman wants to stop …
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Why I Was a People-Pleaser and How I Stopped

“When you say “yes” to others, make sure you aren’t saying “no” to yourself.” ~Paulo Coehlo
For as long as I can remember I have been a people pleaser. I have prided myself on being well-liked, on saying yes and …
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Confrontation Can Be Hard, But It’s Worth It

“When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.” ~Fred Rogers
I was immediately uncomfortable when the older gentleman rode up on his bike and loudly told us that our kids shouldn’t be …
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10 Signs You’re Being True to Yourself

“The most confused we ever get is when we try to convince our heads of something that we know in our hearts is a lie.” ~Karen Moning
It’s painful and stressful to feel like you’re living a lie. Like you’re …
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How Recovering People-Pleasers Can Discover What They Really Want

“When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho
People-pleasers regularly subvert their own needs for the needs of others. We spend years saying “yes” when we mean “no,” signing up for commitments …
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How to Stop Rescuing Other People as a Way to Feel Good About Yourself

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” ~Jack Kornfield
It seemed like the natural thing to do.
A middle-aged man had dropped his keys near me. I jumped up, hopped over, picked the keys up, and gave …
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5 Practices That Helped Me Stop Being a People Pleaser

“If you spend your life pleasing others, you spend your life.” ~Cheryl Richardson
Looking back on my life, I came to realize that I spent quite a high amount of my precious time trying. Trying to be perfect. Trying to …
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