The first step is to create a comfortable distance between yourself and whatever you are connected to. Push them back a bit in your mind to where the distance is comfortable for you. Send the barista a few steps back. Make the car back up and the driver take his foot off the gas. Just as in physical reality, you will feel relief when the distance is sufficient. It might be six feet, or it might be a football field—keep adjusting until you feel your muscles unclenching, your anxiousness dissipating.
Check again and gauge the mood of your subjects and see if it has changed, now that you have set this energetic boundary. Can you see light around them now, or colors? Often when we reset this boundary, other aspects of the sources of negative energy get healthier when you visualize yourself in a safe place, although some will stay fuzzy gray or black no matter what you do.
At this point, you should check in to your visualization to see if there is any kind of cord, rope, branch, thread, spiderwebs, or any attachment between your body and the source of the negative energy you are investigating. Take a moment to really feel this link and see this cord clearly. Where does it attach to your body? How deeply? Where does it attach to their body? How deeply? Seeing where cords attach to locations on the body can tell me a lot about the kind of connection.
The next step is to be clear and sure that you want to cut this cord. There are many ways to cut energetic cords. You can simply visualize the cord being cut and pulled out at its source, releasing you both, and dissolving, disappearing, flying up into the light and back to the Source. If you want, you can call upon the Archangels to fill you with light in the places to which these cords and roots were once attached, asking them to restore your energy, healing you and releasing you for your highest good.
Allow yourself to really feel this shift, and rest afterward. Do your best not to start thinking about this person or situation again right away, or you are in essence reattaching the cords. Give your mind a complete break and do something enjoyable. Stay in the relief and in the lightness you now feel. This exercise is sometimes more effective with a guide or extra support such as a professional medium like me, and sometimes it needs to be done multiple times.
It takes a lot of mental strength and self-discipline to stop thinking about a person or situation that has done you harm, but you must continue to process your deeper feelings and allow the truth to emerge about your situation. Cutting cords can help you start feeling space to do this and does have an effect of breaking the hold this event or person has on us.
Excerpt from Vibes From the Other Side © 2022 Catharine Allan with permission from Sterling Ethos, an imprint of Union Square & Co.