empathy

How to Overcome Relationship Conflict with the Internalized Other Practice

“You can only understand people if you feel them in yourself.” ~John Steinbeck

In the early stages of my relationships, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what the other person was thinking. Hours of pondering whether they liked me, over-analyzing every text message, and worrying that every fight meant it was over.

Over time, in a good long-term relationship, these challenges settle down. While longevity is not the only marker of a successful relationship, feeling safe and comfortable with someone over a decent stretch of time is undoubtably lovely. All those fear-based worries and insecurities fade, … …

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An Unexpected Place to Find Kindness: What Made Me Feel Like I Belong

“Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” ~Mother Teresa
Routines are important to me. I rely on certain things to bring me back home to myself; to feel clear and …
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How to Love Mindfully When You’re a Socially Anxious People-Pleaser

“It’s okay to care about what people think. Just know there’s a difference between valuing someone’s opinion and needing their approval.” ~Lori Deschene
My date—an attractive student in her twenties—talked away excitedly, but all I could think of was this:…
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20 Ways You Can Become a Powerful Communicator

Some people seem to naturally know how to effectively communicate in a group setting. They can express themselves clearly and listen attentively without dominating the conversation. Being a powerful communicator is important for several reasons, including building and maintaining relationships, achieving goals, resolving conflicts, improving productivity, leading and influencing others, advancing in your career, expressing […]
The post 20 Ways You Can Become a Powerful Communicator appeared first on Addicted 2 Success. …

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When We Avoid Emotions We Don’t Like, Our Lives Get Smaller and Smaller

“Being cut off from our own natural self-compassion is one of the greatest impairments we can suffer.” ~Gabor Mate
Most of us avoid experiences not necessarily because we don’t like them or want them, but because we don’t want …
The post When We Avoid Emotions We Don’t Like, Our Lives Get Smaller and Smaller appeared first on Tiny Buddha. …

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If You Really Want to Change the World: 4 Ways to Be Kind

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ~Maya Angelou
I’ve now reached the age in my life when every so often, I …
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11 Important Things I’ve Learned in 11 Years of Marriage

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” ~Dave Meurer 
My husband and I will soon be celebrating our eleventh anniversary. By no means do we …
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It’s Amazing How a Little Kindness Can Open Someone’s Heart

“We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one …
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Freedom Is the Space Between Each Judgmental or Righteous Thought

“It is inner stillness that will save and transform the world.” ~Eckhart Tolle
Life is hard. Impenetrable at times. How can we use our spirituality to navigate through the density of life?
That question inspired this piece of writing. And …
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How to Release the Fear That Holds You Back and Keeps You Small

“The purpose of fear is to raise your awareness, not to stop your progress.” ~Steve Maraboli
I used to hate my fear because it scared me. It terrified me that when fear arose, it often felt like it was driving …
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When You Strongly Disagree with Someone: How to Find Common Ground

“The truth you believe and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.” ~Pema Chodron
I was recently having dinner with a group of friends, and I casually mentioned that I’ve been making more effort in my life to …
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How I Healed My Mother Wound and My Daughters Are Healing Theirs

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself… You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not …
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My Mother’s Abuse and the Two Things That Have Helped Me Heal

“I love when people that have been through hell walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire.” ~Stephanie Sparkles
I have a tattoo on my back of Charles Bukowski’s quote “What matters …
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The Joy of Unexpected Kindness and 3 Reasons It’s Hard to Be Kind

“Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world.” ~Howard Zinn 
Have you ever experienced an unexpected act of kindness that completely changed your day?
I have, and I sincerely hope you have too.
Please pause …
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3 Ways to Help Someone Who’s Recovering from Trauma

“Feeling safe in someone’s energy is a different kind of intimacy. That feeling of peace and protection is really underrated.” ~Vanessa Klas
I’m now fourteen months into my recovery from complex post-traumatic stress syndrome (c-PTSD aka complex trauma). I’d been …
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How to Mindfully Temper Road Rage and Make Driving Less Stressful

“Smile, breathe, and go slowly.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
As a Lyft driver, I once spent significant time out on the road—a setting rife with provocations and stressors.
Driving can feel like a constant challenge to employ mindfulness instead of giving …
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If You’re Afraid to Ask for Help Because You Don’t Trust People

“Ask for help. Not because you are weak. But because you want to remain strong.” ~Les Brown
I sat in the doctor’s office, waiting—linen gown hanging off me, half exposed—while going through the checklist in my mind of what I …
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Healing from Shame: How to Stop Feeling Like You’re Fundamentally Wrong

“If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.” ~…
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Why I Never Let Anyone Support Me Until the Day I Almost Died

“Why don’t you get up and make the coffee, while I stay in my sleeping bag and plan our ascent route?” I half-heartedly ask my climbing partner Hank.
He just looks at me with that unassuming, “give-me-a-break Val Jon” look …
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Why Judging People Hurt Me and 5 Things That Helped Me Stop

“It’s very easy to judge. It’s much more difficult to understand. Understanding requires compassion, patience and a willingness to believe that good hearts sometimes choose poor methods.” ~Doe Zantamata
In the past, judgments kept me safe. They reassured me that …
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All It Takes Is One Person to Start a Chain Reaction of Caring and Kindness

“People will never know how far a little kindness can go. You just may start a chain reaction.” ~Rachel Joy Scott
One afternoon a while back, after stepping onboard to a full train car with no available seats, I situated …
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The Many Shades of Support: Everyone Shows Up for Us in Different Ways

“Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It’s simply listening, holding space, withholding judgment, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message of ‘You’re not alone.’” ~Brené Brown
What do a pregnancy …
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How I Stopped Worrying All the Time and Started Feeling Good About Life

“We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.” ~Anais Nin
When I was young, I used to stare out into the big, blue sky and ask, “Is this really the right place?” “Did they drop …
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Please Don’t Fix Me: What True Empathy Is (And Isn’t)

“No one mentioned until I was in late middle age that—horribly!—my good, helpful ideas for other grown-ups were not helpful. That my help was in fact sometimes toxic. That people needed to defend themselves from my passionate belief that I …
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Who Are You Protecting? Why Telling Your Story Is Powerful

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ~Maya Angelou
Throughout my childhood experiences I did what every child does and rejected parts of myself. It makes sense because kids depend on adults for survival, so …
The post Who Are You Protecting? Why Telling Your Story Is Powerful appeared first on Tiny Buddha. …

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