people-pleasing

Unleashing My Inner Teen: From People-Pleasing to Authentic Self-Expression

“Be more afraid of losing yourself than losing the approval of others.” ~Unknown
Sometimes, when I feel restless, I listen to angsty music that I used to listen to as a teenager, such as Taking Back Sunday, My Chemical Romance, Paramore, and Bullet for My Valentine.
I can still belt out every lyric to Misery Business with precision, without missing a beat, and with perfect intonation (okay, so maybe not the last one). As I was listening to music from my past, I tried to make sense of this inner restlessness.
Why has this been coming up for me so … …

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A People-Pleaser’s Guide to Reclaiming Your Life: 6 Ways to Say No

“Self-love, self-respect, self-worth: There’s a reason they all start with ‘self.’ You can’t find them in anyone else.” ~Unknown
Have you ever found yourself stuck in the “yes” trap, even when your gut screamed “no”?
I have.
We people-pleasers struggle with boundary crushers, and there are a lot of them out there continuously knocking over the barriers we put up!
But here is a secret I have learned: I’m allowed to say “no” without drowning in guilt. In fact, it’s a vital part of my self-care journey to give myself permission to freely say “no.”
Empowerment of “NO”
Saying “no” … …

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The Allure of Unhealthy, One-Sided Friendships and How I’ve Let Them Go

“The real test of friendship is can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?” ~Eugene Kennedy 
I could not. When I was with them, we had …
The post The Allure of Unhealthy, One-Sided Friendships and How I’ve Let Them Go appeared first on Tiny Buddha. …

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5 Ways to Heal from a Highly Critical, Controlling Parent

“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~Louise Hay
When I was growing up, it felt like nothing was good enough for my dad. And all I longed for …
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How Boundaries Help You Stay True to Yourself (And Two Practices to Try Today)

“The more you value yourself, the healthier your boundaries are.” ~Lorraine Nilon
I want to talk about the direct correlation between boundaries and self-love. Because when we truly love ourselves and have a healthy self-worth and self-concept, setting boundaries becomes …
The post How Boundaries Help You Stay True to Yourself (And Two Practices to Try Today) appeared first on Tiny Buddha. …

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How I Stopped Worrying About What Others Think of Me

“Live your life for you not for anyone else. Don’t let the fear of being judged, rejected or disliked stop you from being yourself.” ~Sonya Parker
On August 4, 2022, I buzzed off my long, thick, luscious hair.
I marched …
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Why I Don’t Regret That I Didn’t Walk Away from My Relationship Sooner

“The butterfly does not look back at the caterpillar in shame, just as you should not look back at your past in shame. Your past was part of your own transformation.” ~Anthony Gucciardi 
Before I finally grew the courage to …
The post Why I Don’t Regret That I Didn’t Walk Away from My Relationship Sooner appeared first on Tiny Buddha. …

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Learning to Speak Up When You Were Taught That Your Feelings Don’t Matter

“A proper grown-up communicates clearly and assertively.”
This is something I have heard many people say.
By that definition, I wouldn’t have classed as a proper grown-up for most of my life.
There was a time when I couldn’t …
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Abandonment Wounds: How to Heal Them and Feel More at Ease in Relationships

“I always wondered why it was so easy for people to leave. What I should have questioned was why I wanted so badly for them to stay.” ~Samantha King
Do you feel afraid to speak your truth or ask for …
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How to Love Mindfully When You’re a Socially Anxious People-Pleaser

“It’s okay to care about what people think. Just know there’s a difference between valuing someone’s opinion and needing their approval.” ~Lori Deschene
My date—an attractive student in her twenties—talked away excitedly, but all I could think of was this:…
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How I’m Overcoming Codependency and the Need to Prove My Worth

“Everywhere you go, there you are.” ~Unknown
I have heard this quote many times throughout life, but that was it. I heard it, thought hmm, and moved on. Well, here I am at the age of thirty-nine, and …
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Unbecoming the Old Me: How I’m Finally Discovering That Life Can Be Fun

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results.” ~Albert Einstein
I woke up one morning and realized that I had no idea who I was. I realized that over the past thirty-something …
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Why I Didn’t Trust Myself to Make Decisions (and What If It’s All Okay?)

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~Mary Oliver
Lately, I’ve been taking time to think about what I actually want. Not what I “should” want or what other people want …
The post Why I Didn’t Trust Myself to Make Decisions (and What If It’s All Okay?) appeared first on Tiny Buddha. …

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7 Ways Childhood Trauma Shows Up in Your Romantic Relationships

“Love is the greatest miracle cure. Loving ourselves creates miracles in our lives.” ~Louise Hay
When you are unlucky in love, you tend to blame yourself for not being enough and maybe blame fate for not giving you a break …
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I’m Kelly and I’m a Heroine Addict: Why I Get My Fix from Fixing People

“Self-will means believing that you alone have all the answers. Letting go of self-will means becoming willing to hold still, be open, and wait for guidance for yourself.”―Robin Norwood, Author of Women Who Love Too Much
My drug of choice …
The post I’m Kelly and I’m a Heroine Addict: Why I Get My Fix from Fixing People appeared first on Tiny Buddha. …

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I Cheated on Him with My Higher Self (and We’re Still Going Strong)

“It’s okay to let go of those who couldn’t love you. Those who didn’t know how to. Those who failed to even try. It’s okay to outgrow them, because that means you filled the empty space in you with self-love …
The post I Cheated on Him with My Higher Self (and We’re Still Going Strong) appeared first on Tiny Buddha. …

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The One Thought That Killed My Crippling Fear of Other People’s Opinions

“Don’t worry if someone does not like you. Most people are struggling to like themselves.” ~Unknown
For as long as I can remember, I have been deathly afraid of what other people thought of me.
I remember looking at all …
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How Not Setting Boundaries Serves Our Primal Need for Acceptance

“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated.” ~Brené Brown
I used to believe that others didn’t have healthy boundaries. They didn’t know where to draw the line, and I was the …
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The Exhausted Extrovert: How I Stopped Worrying About How People See Me

“When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we are not pretending, we are not hiding—we are simply present with whatever is going on inside us. Ironically, it is this very feeling of authenticity that draws people to us, not the …
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People-Pleasers Are Liars: 3 Things We Gain When We’re Honest Instead

“You’re a liar. People-pleasers are liars,” a friend said to me. I felt like I was punched in the gut. “You say yes when you mean no. You say it’s okay when it’s not okay.” My friend challenged me, “In …
The post People-Pleasers Are Liars: 3 Things We Gain When We’re Honest Instead appeared first on Tiny Buddha. …

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3 Painful Consequences to Overgiving and People-Pleasing

People-pleasing, overhelping, overgiving—we can give it lots of different names, but the consequences to putting yourself last all the time are generally the same.
You may have been raised to see giving and helping as virtuous things. And hear me …
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3 Things I Realized When I Stopped People-Pleasing and Let Myself Receive

“Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart.” ~Brene Brown
The honest truth about needing to please is that we do it to make other people happy. We will sacrifice everything …
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Sick of Toxic Relationships? Love Yourself Enough to Walk Away

“There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people …
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A Guide to Saying No Without Guilt: 7 Steps for People-Pleasers

“You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.” ~Unknown
Why is it so hard to say no? The uncomfortable buildup of emotion I felt while contemplating dropping the ‘n’ word used to have me …
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How to Feel Comfortable Setting Boundaries and Why We Need Them

“Avoiding certain people to protect your emotional health is not weakness. It is wisdom.” ~Unknown
The word “boundary” often conjures up negative thoughts. After all, it’s usually an indication of something being restricted.
However, deciding to set boundaries is one …
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