self-compassion

The Childhood Wounds We All Carry and How to Heal Our Pain

“As traumatized children, we always dreamed that someone would come and save us. We never dreamed that it would, in fact, be ourselves as adults.” ~Alice Little
Like most people, I used to run away from my pain.
I did …
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Why Stability Feels Unsettling When You Grew Up Around Chaos

“Refuse to inherit dysfunction. Learn new ways of living instead of repeating what you lived through.” ~Thema Davis
For anybody that experienced a chaotic childhood, stability in adulthood is unfamiliar territory.
When you grow up in an environment where shouting …
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Dear Everyone Who Tells Me I Should Reconcile with My Parents

“You are allowed to terminate your relationship with toxic family members. You are allowed to walk away from people who hurt you. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for taking care of yourself.” ~Unknown
You might think I’m a monster …
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How I Healed My Mother Wound and My Daughters Are Healing Theirs

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself… You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not …
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For More Love in Your Relationship, Love Yourself More (5 Tips)

“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be looking for someone else to fill the void inside you, but no one will ever be able to do it.” ~Lori Deschene
Two years ago, I sat in my basement with tears …
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My Mother’s Abuse and the Two Things That Have Helped Me Heal

“I love when people that have been through hell walk out of the flames carrying buckets of water for those still consumed by the fire.” ~Stephanie Sparkles
I have a tattoo on my back of Charles Bukowski’s quote “What matters …
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The Joy of Unexpected Kindness and 3 Reasons It’s Hard to Be Kind

“Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can transform the world.” ~Howard Zinn 
Have you ever experienced an unexpected act of kindness that completely changed your day?
I have, and I sincerely hope you have too.
Please pause …
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Why It’s Worth the Temporary Discomfort of Sitting with Intense Emotions

“Whatever you’re feeling, it will eventually pass.”  ~Lori Deschene
Can you feel an intense emotion, like anger, without acting on it, reacting to it, or trying to get rid of it?
Can you feel such an intense emotion without …
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The Unconscious Vows We Make to Ourselves So the World Can’t Hurt Us

“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.” ~Jonathan Safron Foer
Are you aware that we all make unconscious vows early on, and they become our internal blueprint for life? These vows dictate who we can be …
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How Befriending My Anxiety and Depression Helped Ease My Pain

“‘What should I do?’ I asked myself. ‘Spend another two miserable years like this? Or should I truly welcome my panic?’ I decided to really let go of wanting to block, get rid of, or fight it. I would finally …
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Every Day Away from My Abuser Is a Step Toward Reclaiming Myself

“Don’t waste your time and energy trying to convince people to value you. If you have to fight for their attention and respect, it’s time to move on.” ~Lori Deschane
“Well, maybe if you didn’t make stupid decisions you wouldn’t …
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The Difference Between Easy and Hard Self-Care and Why Both Matter

“Sometimes you’ve got to look straight into the tired eyes of the woman staring back at you in the mirror and tell her that she deserves the best kind of love, the best kind of life, and devote yourself to …
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How Our Self-Talk and Language Can Sabotage or Support Us

“Today I want you to think about all that you are instead of all that you are not.” ~Unknown
“Love the pinecones!”
This was a comment from a friend on one of my Facebook photos from a beautiful seaside hike …
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If You’re Afraid to Ask for Help Because You Don’t Trust People

“Ask for help. Not because you are weak. But because you want to remain strong.” ~Les Brown
I sat in the doctor’s office, waiting—linen gown hanging off me, half exposed—while going through the checklist in my mind of what I …
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How I Stopped Feeling Sorry for Myself and Shifted from Victim to Survivor

“When we deny our stories, they define us. When we own our stories, we get to write a brave new ending.” ~Brené Brown
There was a time when I felt really sorry for myself. I had good reason to be. …
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3 Things I Realized When I Stopped People-Pleasing and Let Myself Receive

“Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart.” ~Brene Brown
The honest truth about needing to please is that we do it to make other people happy. We will sacrifice everything …
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Are You Pathologizing Normal Emotions? It’s Not Always a Mental Illness

“Don’t believe everything you think.” ~Unknown
Society is becoming more accepting of mental illness. That’s great, but there’s a downside that we need to talk about. Not everything is mental illness. We need to stop pathologizing every single thing that …
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Sick of Toxic Relationships? Love Yourself Enough to Walk Away

“There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people …
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Healing from Shame: How to Stop Feeling Like You’re Fundamentally Wrong

“If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment. If you put the same amount of shame in the petri dish and douse it with empathy, it can’t survive.” ~…
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7 Lessons That May Help You Find a Fulfilling Long-Term Relationship

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha
“You’re not in love with me, you’re in love with the idea of being in love.”
Ouch!
Kate (not her real name) and I …
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How to Thrive in Life after Surviving Cancer

“Have a little faith in your ability to handle whatever’s coming down the road. Believe that you have the strength and resourcefulness required to tackle whatever challenges come your way. And know that you always have the capacity to make …
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How I Overcame Shame from Sexual Assault and Began to Love Myself

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” ~Martin Luther King Jr.
It was Saturday, August 29th, 2020, when I admitted to myself, for the very first time, that I was a victim of …
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A Guide to Saying No Without Guilt: 7 Steps for People-Pleasers

“You can be a good person with a kind heart and still say no.” ~Unknown
Why is it so hard to say no? The uncomfortable buildup of emotion I felt while contemplating dropping the ‘n’ word used to have me …
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Feeling Weighed Down by Regret? What Helps Me Let Go

“Be kind to past versions of yourself that didn’t know the things you know now.” ~Unknown
When I taught yoga classes in jails in Colorado and New Jersey, I would end class with the Metta Meditation:
May we all feel …
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How Mindfulness Helped Me Become My Own Best Friend

“With mindfulness, you can establish yourself in the present in order to touch the wonders of life that are available in that moment.”  ~Thich Nhat Hanh
I am not a good friend to myself. This realization shook me as I …
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